haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
