i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
