why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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