I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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