yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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