I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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