don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
