brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
