the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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