omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
