I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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