I hate all girls vehemently.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
