Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
