wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
