I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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