we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
