So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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