I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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