it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
