Just cropdusted the office
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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