spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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