..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
