I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
