My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
