Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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