I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
