Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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