I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
