Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
