i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
