You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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