once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
