I'm so fucking centered right now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
North Korea, Best Korea!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
