Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
