so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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