I'm really into asian looking animals
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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