I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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