i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
