I faked an abortion last night.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
