but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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