I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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