I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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