Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
