it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
