we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
