She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
