cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
