just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As shirtless as possible
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
