I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
