Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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