Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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