this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
