He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
