Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
