My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
