omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i now understand why vodka
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
