Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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