Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
