i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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