Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Farmville is her only friend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
