Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
