tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i think im in europe. pls send help
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
