so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
