No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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