she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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