There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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