i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
