My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
