Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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