I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
