when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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