Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there's paper in my vomit.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
