How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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