Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
