Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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