just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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