yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
