Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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