When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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