So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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