Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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